Melancholia

As the days grow shorter and the leaves drop from the trees, it is my natural tendency to become sad. With all of the changes we've experienced this year it's especially difficult to live up to my name...We are very blessed in so many ways, yet there are so many friends and family members going through various trials and tribulations that it makes my heart ache for them: a sweet family dealing with chemo for their daughter (who is Matthew's age), Matthew's move back to Abilene, two sons dealing with disintegrated marriages, friends facing changes and challenges that keep them up at night , a husband whose health is a continuous concern... Satan doesn't have to work too hard in times like these to cause despair and doubt.

My friend Mark at the V A hospital is going downhill quickly. When I went to his room to take him downstairs, he was sitting in his wheelchair facing the door with the phone against his ear and he was asleep. He didn't hear me come in, so I greeted him at which point he woke up and hung up the phone. After checking to make sure he had everything he needed and turning out the light, we went to the elevator and headed down four floors and through the emergency room waiting area to go outside. At that point Mark told me to stop, we needed to go back upstairs to get money for newspapers. We went back up to his room to retrieve his wallet, and headed back down the elevator and towards the ER waiting room. Mark then started asking people in the waiting room if they had change for a $20 bill, but no one did. We then went to the Starbucks down the hall to get his change and headed back to the ER waiting room exit. Once again Mark stopped me to go back to Starbucks and get quarters, the newspaper machines didn't accept dollar bills. By the time we finally got his two newspapers and got to the "smoking hut" outside, a nurse was looking for him to take him to have a CT scan and didn't let him light up. Bless his heart. I noticed in his room the staff had positioned his bed to prop the door open, so he no longer can close his door. There was also an oxygen tube plugged into the wall and lying on his bed. I pray that Mark can go peacefully and painlessly. I hope he finds peace in the Lord, but I'm not allowed to talk about such things to him. It is all in God's hands...